12 year old phenomenon opts out of childhood for MLB Draft...

“Every kid has a dream of being a multi-millionaire sports athlete; my dream will come true in just over a year,” the boy wonder said. The family has trademarked his name and has somehow made it illegal for the media to use their name, unless it is breaking news, without giving them royalties. So, this article will remain uncharacteristically bland yet descriptive. 

The wonder boy has been training for the MLB since the age of three when his family discovered he had a throwing arm. “He picked a baseball and threw it at the television. It went straight through the television and the wall behind the television. Right then, we knew he was special,” his mother said.

The wonder boy has been playing for the high school team since he turned eight and has been striking out people with his mean fastball since then. He can also hit the ball pretty well. 

“Soon after we found out he would be the next big thing, we started having him do hand eye coordination drills. We also purchased him a gym membership so that he could get some power behind his swing. The gym was five miles away so the run there was always a good warm-up for him,” his father said.

Wonder boy isn’t the only family member that was geared to go professional. His older brother was set to make his debut in college football at the age of 13 a couple weeks ago…But in his last high school game he got tackled so hard that he cried. He also tore his Achilles tendon a few weeks before that, but his parents made him play on that. The doctors said that the kids career was over. Since then his parents put him into a retirement home and visit him rarely.

“We need to focus on the real talent of our family and make sure he gets his large paycheck.” The father said.

With Bryce Harper, 17, the likely number one pick in the upcoming MLB Draft, this will clear the road for this kid to be the number one pick, either next year or the year after that. 

“I think I can take on today’s top pitchers even at my young age. I have a lot of maturity and a small strike zone. Nobody will want to pitch to me,” the Wonder boy said.

(Satire)